I am a Princess

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When I was a young girl, about 7 years of age, I was a princess.

I was playing in the dirt with my friends one day; she called out to me. I loved her so much that I would have stopped any activity to be with her. We entered her house together. She cleaned me up so tenderly. She stepped into her room and came out seconds later with the most beautiful princess dress you could imagine – blue with sequins here and there and puffy sleeves. It flowed like a breeze when I twirled. “You’re my little Princess” she said as she kiss my forehead. “You’re my little Princess”. I am a Princess!

Eventually, we moved away. I still had the dress – but I wasn’t a Princess anymore – and that is how I felt for decades to come and go. I was no one’s little princess.

Sometimes life gets away from us; it doesn’t go the way we expect it to go. Sometimes it just sucks the life right out of us. Do you ever feel like you are the farthest thing away from royalty? Do you ever think that you are no one’s special person? That you’re alone in the world and life has its hands wrapped around your throat and it’s squeezing the life right out of you?

It doesn’t have to be that way. I learned the hard way, but I would never trade what happened in my past for what happened when I finally surrendered my hurts, bitterness, unforgiveness, and hardened heart. Hurt people so often build a wall around their hearts for protection – I know I did. I was in control – but on the outside – hmm, not so much. Reality checks indicated that I had hit the wall I built with full force and it knocked me out until there was nothing left of me – nothing.

Then it all changed. I gave up all that “control”. I gave up. I surrendered. I called out to a God I didn’t really know. He called me Princess. He called me His daughter. He loved me the way I needed to be loved. He cleaned me up and adorned me in a royal robe. Imagine. The wall around my heart began to crumble, brick by brick. The bitterness turned into forgiveness. He helped me become the person I was created to be. I am a Princess – a daughter of the King of Kings.

I don’t know where you are in life, but I know that life can kick you in the gut and comes a point where you just can’t get up again. Jesus can pick you up. Jesus can clean you up. Jesus will call you Princess because that is who you are. It’s who you were created to be. Trust Him. He calls the broken-hearted and weary and takes the yoke of burden away. If you’ve hit the wall and you are ready to surrender your life to Him, He is a breath away. Call out to Him and He will answer. He will answer. The grip around your neck, and the pain in your gut, will turn into a gentle kiss on your forehead. What do you have to lose? Call Him.

His promise: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10.

I know this because I am a Princess.

You Waited

Through the window I looked gasping for breath.

The heat choked me, gripping my throat, tightening its tentacles.

He was finished with me; you were just getting started.

 

TreibsandYou rescued me with a brief, cool breeze – it penetrated the thickness of the dense air.

You sent me hope – to prepare me. I knew you’d stay with me – he wasn’t going to stop.

I sought you out by my spirit; you spoke to my soul as deep unto deep. I treasured you in my heart

For a time – until I blamed you.

I didn’t understand.

The pain blinded me, made me deaf to your tender words.

 

Was I alone in my brokenness?

My shattered heart sobbed for the child that never was.

Stolen years.

Endless tears.

Betrayed by my fears.

Overlooked by love and driven to my knees.

 

Saved and unchained at Humility’s Throne

You washed me in your grace.

Restored my hope, made all things new, and gave my past a purpose.

You sought me out like a shepherd over his sheep.

 

For eternity you love me

Then and now and all days future.

You counted all my tears and saved them in a bottle.

You redeemed my life from the pit and crowned me with your glory.

I am renewed.

You waited.

 

 

My Beating Heart

love boxBlue skies darken. A stark gray moves in slowly as the clouds engulf the sun. Cold winds pass through me. The day is hardened. A new season begins – trials and tribulation abound.My heart beats for you and I trust.

My enemy stands against me, tormenting me. Fear knocks – I dare not open the door. Announcing a grim destiny – but you offer eternity.

My heart beats for you and I turn.

Hanging on. Counting on – your saving words. I battle from victory. Believing is seeing. He relents. You remain.

My heart beats for you and I rest.

The light of dawn shines forth from the east – a refreshing mist … a rainbow of promise. Your presence follows.

My heart beats for you and I worship.

From existence without life – my past washed away by your love. Forgiven. Restored. Reconciled.

My heart beats for you and I rejoice.

In your arms, your strong right hand – your protection, your healing, your promises and peace. Life reborn.

My heart beats for you and I serve.

Abiding Love

Geöffnete TürThere I stood barely breathing, secluded in the barren field, tormented, scarred and scorched like a sunflower in the midday sun. You came to me. Did you hear my call? For your hand was outstretched and beckoned me. You lead me to a garden that I had only dreamed of. Your kindness touched me to the depth of my very soul, leaving me weak but secure within your strength.

Who am I that you should look upon me with your loving heart, that you should call me friend and lover? In my wonder, I see my reflection in your eyes and I see that I am beautiful. You say of me that I am more precious than all the gold and sapphires. Yet, I know it is because I live in the shadow of your love. Your voice is a melody to my ears and your name the song of my heart. Your words are my sustenance. I am enveloped by your love. You have made me your bride before all who see. Your love radiates from me, a beacon in the darkness of night. You keep me under your wing. Your kiss replenishes my hope, for with you, I am perfect because you love me.

I give myself to you completely: body, soul, heart and mind. Because I am in you and you in me we are one – inseparable, betrothed, woven together into one fabric. You are my perfect love. Your arms warm me in the coolness of the night; their strength rescues me from the thorns. Your love speaks the promise of eternity. You hold me in high esteem crowning my head with your glory. From you flows quenching waters. I thirst for you, my love. You fill me. You perfect me.

Was I not once weather-beaten by the winds? Was I not once a tree stripped of her bark? No more. You are my refuge, my shelter from the elements. My heart, once buried in the tomb of the world, is now alive. Your beauty illuminates my essence. I delight in you. My heart leaps in my bosom at your sight. I cannot contain myself. I am a wild flower blossoming in love. I am a bird gliding and soaring, a river that cannot be contained. Because you take my breath away, again I am barely breathing.

Who’s Your Daddy?

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Everyone needs to hear how much they are loved … you are … and don’t you forget it.

Father’s Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications Copyright 1999-2014 http://www.FathersLoveLetter.com

Let Your Love Out

love boxRecently, a friend and I were having a heartfelt talk when suddenly she said, “Let your love out, Hope.”  Hmm, I thought to myself, what have I been doing up to now? What does it say about you, or your capacity to love when your friends think you’re holding back during a heart-to-heart discussion no less? I was all in, at least I thought I was. I felt that annoying little lump in my throat when I started getting really personal, but … ahem … I choked that down pretty quick …. Oooooh, now I get it!

Do you have anyone in your life with whom you can just uncork the fermenting emotions you have bottled up so well? I thought I was free of that need to control how deep I allowed myself to go, and I thought I was being pretty authentic; looks like not everyone was in agreement. There is nothing, nothing more important than love and I am often reminded that it does more harm than good to suppress it.

Honestly, I detest thinking that I’m like one of those bottles of aged wine you think you’re about to have a nice glass of when suddenly, you end up pushing the cork down too far! What is it that seems to drive that cork further down with age? Past experience perhaps? Fear?

I recently spent the day with two of my favourite little girls. There we were – sitting together, bird watching, drawing with pastels and chatting – outside of my own head, outside of my fears – I was completely present with Carla and Ané – completely present, living in the moment – and loving them as if there was no risk involved…because there was not.

So, what is it about spending time with adults that make some of us hold back – living in the regret or trauma of the past – living in fear of more of the same in the future? Don’t think for a minute that children don’t get their feelings hurt. Don’t think for a minute that their little hearts don’t get broken from time to time. Don’t think for a minute that the people they love most in the world have never done wrong by them; I have children – I’ve seen them hurting. The difference between child-like love and loving as a adult is the dwelling factor. Children don’t dwell on the past and certainly don’t look at the past as a threat to their future. Children love with all they have. That’s why Yeshua (Jesus) told people that being child-like in love is the only way to greatness (spiritual and earthly success):

3 “Truly I say to you, unless you repent (change, turn about) and become like little children [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving], you can never enter the kingdom of heaven [at all]. 4 Whoever will humble himself therefore and become like this little child [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving] is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matt. 18:3-4 Amp.

I have an abundance of love inside me. It takes up a lot of room and sometimes I’m sure that cork just wants to pop off, but I unknowingly keep pushing it down. Then, there are times – like when I’m with Carla and Ané – it just leaks out. It’s bigger than I am. True greatness and success is to let it out freely, without reservation, without judgment, without fear, without almighty pride holding us back.

The thing about loving adults is that there is always the possibility that you’ll be hurt or rejected, but that is never reason enough to hold it back. Children love the way God loves … unconditionally …. with no agenda … no owzies… and they do it fearlessly. It’s so important that Yeshua said it 5 times in the Gospel of John. “This is My commandment: that you love one another [just] as I have loved you.” John 15:12 AMP.

If you’re afraid of being hurt or rejected, chances are you’re afraid of loving. The truth is, if you haven’t already, you will be hurt, but you won’t die from it. Let your love out – it’s commanded of you.

The Name You Gave Me

HopeI saw you leaning over the bulbs you had just planted. Your hands caressed the soil as if it was velvet. A drop of sweat fell from your brow. The rose pushed through the soil and bloomed beneath your gaze. It reached up and kissed you. You sat down and began to speak. I wondered, as I watched in awe, to whom were you speaking. You seemed filled with joy; I wanted what you had. My gaze was fixed upon you.

You sat in the dirt and leaned back against the fence as you reached for a mason jar filled with water. You looked refreshed as you quenched your thirst. The late morning sun began to blaze upon you – the rose looked weary though it had not toiled as you had. You removed a handful of seeds from your pocket and put them in your mouth then spit them to the ground. Each seed took root before my very eyes. Sunflowers grew immediately providing shade and shelter for you and the rose. Your mason jar in hand, you poured the left over water around the rose. The roots drank it up; the rose bloomed. You smiled and began to speak again. Who were you speaking to? As if at your command, your empty jar replenished itself with cool water. If I hadn’t seen it, I would have never believed it.

One after another, roses of differing colours began to sprout around you. You began to draw in the dirt;  writing something perhaps. I was watching from a distance, marveled by this power you possessed; humbled by your dedication to the seeds you had sown. Every seed grew up strong in your presence. My curiosity drew me closer to you. I quietly inched my way closer to see what you had drawn in the sand  – you hadn’t drawn at all – you had written something. I stepped on a dry twig; you looked in my direction. I felt as if you could see through the shrubs I was using as a veil – as if you could see right through me. The sun began to peak in the sky. I was hot, afraid to move, afraid you would discover me, frightened that you could see into the very depth of my soul – where nothing grew. My heart pounded in my chest in anticipation of what was to come – what might be – if I would surrender.

You closed your eyes and picked up the mason jar, pouring water into the palm of your hand and then you blew, ever so gently, into your hand. My breath was taken away. The tiniest droplets of water began to fall upon me. It wasn’t rain; it was more like a refreshing mist. The flowers seemed to be moving closer, bowing their blossoms as if to read what you had written in the dirt. You smiled and looked up into the crystal blue sky and the flowers began to sing. They sang in harmony but from where did the music come? I don’t know how I knew, but I just knew the music was coming from your heart. I thought to myself, if I were to live but a moment more could it be in your arms? Your head slowly turned toward me as if to answer my request. You held out your arm – your spirit hearkened to mine, “Come.” Suddenly I knew that I was yours – that you had come for me – that we could be separated no more. It was predestined; I had always been yours. My clothes became brilliant as the sun. As I drew near to you, you seemed to draw near to me, but you had not moved. You reached for my hand and when we touched I tingled from the inside out. You looked through my eyes into my soul and I knew I was pure, I was beautiful. I felt your grip tighten every so slightly – you didn’t even have to speak. I looked down at what you had written in the soil. My heart leapt in my bosom. I was filled with knowledge and understanding. You had written the name of your betrothed – the love of your heart, the lover of your soul – it was my name…Hope, the name you gave me, a desire for you that you had planted within my soul from the beginning. You left the garden, but you stayed with me always and forever. You established my roots firmly; you gave me rest. You gave me shelter and my jar shall always be full.