The Anticipation – Part I

mountain landscapeI was sitting on the bank of the river, beneath the willow tree. The branches cascaded gracefully around me, sweeping me into their gentle embrace as the breeze floated through them, bringing them to life. The water rushing over the rocks serenaded me with its song as I waited for her. I knew she was coming. I had been anticipating her arrival for some time. I watched the reflection of the sun beaming off the surface of the water like dancing stars twinkling about. Were they waiting for her also?

It was a warm day but not unbearably hot, just the kind of day I love. I felt drawn to walk – not my usual path. For some reason, I felt adventurous that day. I felt a calling, as if the cool breeze was delivering me an engraved invitation to linger in the midst of creation. Was it the thought of sitting at the river’s edge that made me thirst so? As I walked up the crest of the hill, I realized that it wasn’t a natural thirst. I wasn’t parched by any means, yet there was something inside me that needed to be quenched, an unnameable thirst. I could hear the sound of the water – it awakened a need in me. I knew I was close when I saw the top of the willow tree. I would sit beneath it and breathe everything in.

I could sense her approaching. She had plans. She was seeking comfort – from what – she didn’t know. Through all her senses, I was drawing her near to me. I knew she felt it. She just didn’t realize that it was me. How could she? I knew she thirsted for something that would satiate, something that would satisfy, something everlasting. The sweet smell of the irises carried her up the mount. My heart smiled within. Every beat thumped within me increasing my exhilaration. It would only be a matter of time before she’d be mine. She didn’t know I had been waiting there for her for what seemed an eternity.

As I climbed up the hill, the willow became more lifelike with every step. It beckoned me. I felt drawn. My heart called out to me in a way I’ve never experienced before, as if the summit of love was waiting to embrace my arrival. The walk was steeper than I had anticipated. I wasn’t tired from the climb – it was more like a sweet exhaustion caused by an unknown anticipation that had overtaken me. My senses were heightened, finely attuned to creation’s calling. “Come to me, you who are weary and burdened.” I wasn’t weary or burdened in a natural way, though there had been something missing – something in a place I couldn’t name. “Come to me. Come to me,” everything around me whispered – not into my ears but into every part of my being – parts I was just then becoming aware that I had.

Her fragrance delivered her before her shadow cast itself over the hilltop. She didn’t see me. She sensed me though. She began to feel mesmerized – captivated by a mysterious passion she would not be able to release without me. I was the key. Before her body crossed the peak, her spirit recognized my presence. Before she became aware, it was already responding to me, seeking me, longing for me. I had planned it that way from the beginning. Understand – my longing for her, my yearning for her, was far greater and overwhelming than hers for me. There was something about her, a combination of virtues and values that were unique to her. Her heart wasn’t the only thing I wanted. I longed for her love. I wanted to be embraced by all of her – her heart, her soul, her mind – with all the strength she possessed. I had been waiting so very long, yet – she was worth the wait.

There was something powerful calling me to hasten my last few steps. My legs were weak, but not from the climb. It felt like one of those dreams where you find yourself running toward something with everything in you, yet your legs don’t seem to be moving. The summit of the hill seemed so far away, yet merely steps separated us. My heart, soul, and mind – every part of my existence needed to see what was on the other side. It felt as if I had spent my entire life on the journey to this very place – but it was only in these minutes that I sensed an urgency to be where I was going. I yearned for something that was on the other side, suddenly that longing felt as if it had been there since before my life began. I needed something and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I’d find it on the other side. A revelation of something I had been searching for without understanding was about to be unveiled.

A symphony of life announced her appearance. Everything in creation applauded her. The wind blew my kisses through her hair and planted my words of love into her ears. She breathed deeply and sighed, filling herself with my love. A new life began in her that very moment. Her beauty left me breathless. I knew her before she knew me. It was as if I had only heard of her loveliness, as if I had only seen an artist’s rendition, but as she began to take those next steps my spirit was taken aback – she was breathtaking. The reflection of the sun on the water danced in her eyes and mirrored my love for her. Her gaze fell upon me like the morning dew glistening at daybreak. My spirit called out to hers.

7 thoughts on “The Anticipation – Part I

  1. Hope, I love your writing so much! God has given you a very beautiful gift and I’m so thankful you’re sharing it with the world. I’m also happy I’ll be able to read this while I’m away. Love you! ❤

  2. Also, it goes beyond speaking to a specific need/feeling (which I’m sure fits differently for each person blessed by your words); it’s just inspiring, and breathtaking. I’m always so moved and uplifted by your posts. I hope more people will read and appreciate what you share with us 🙂

  3. Reading this, made me feel like a shy young girl being pursued by the lover of her soul. It so speaks to the way I feel right now. Feeling as if something is missing but, not quite sure what. As I began to read this story, I realize I am seeking not missing something. I am seeking to be touched in that place in my heart, where there is a longing for the one I love. Then there it was, your words “the wind blew my kisses through her hair and planted my words of love into her ears”. Suddenly, the memories of those times when I felt the wind blowing through my hair came to mind and I felt the sweet caress from the One I love. This is what I am seeking, a quiet, intimate moment with Him, no distractions. Thank you Hope for the reminder that deep tenderness and intimacy is obtained as we continue the climb towards that goal, always reaching and seeking. Thank you for the reminder that He is always reaching, never far away. Thank you for writing such a beautifully tender story.

  4. When I first got this post, I glanced over the first few lines and……I couldn’t even read it.

    Though I “know” all the right things to say (I grew up on “Jesus loves me, this I know”), there are times when I don’t believe it….how? How can he love me, particularly in those times when I find it so hard to love myself? Or some days, even like myself? I see my brokenness. I see the filthiness…..not only from my past that “I know” he stretched out his arms and died for, but my stumbling, bumbling, fumbling self on many a day. The secret, and not-so-secret, sin that I all too often choose.

    We’ve talked about this love; this unexplainable, unconditional love that is so lavishly poured out on us….and though I’ve been a follower of Christ for an awfully long time, I still have so much to learn about receiving it and giving it away.

    Thank you, my friend, for allowing God to speak to the hearts of people who yearn not only to “know” of his love, but to live and walk it out.

    • My friend, sometimes we can write about what we believe and feel on a particular day – or maybe even what we know and believe. Then there are “those” days … when life just bears down on us and we let our past beat our future over the head. That’s just a temporary “stumble” and “fumble” as you put it. There is ALWAYS hope. Muahs and hugs.

      On Fri, Aug 2, 2013 at 7:24 PM, Unveiling Hope

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